Scallops

Dear family,

This is a recipe which Dad asked for a while back, and I’mjust getting around to writing it.  Idecided to put it on the blog in case anyone wanted to read it (I figure mostof us make scallops or lobster once or twice a week).  Due to the pointless musings that inherentlyspew from my hands when they contact a keyboard I have included a succinct versionat the bottom of this post for those of you who actually want therecipe.

Scallop Recipe the long version:

Step One:  Flavor theOil

Start with olive oil (don’t use butter).  Use enough to generously coat the bottom of the pan. A little extra never hurt ascallop, but you won’t be deep frying a pig either.  Throw in a couple chopped red bell peppersand some minced garlic.  This is just anormal sauté type of action, nothing special. Get them tender, and completely cooked.

But Nate, you ask, won’t they become overdone if I cook themonce and then cook them again withthe scallops?  To that interrogative Imust answer in the affirmative.  The sadtruth is that in the end only twisted skins will remain of your once beautiful,sweet red pepper.  A vestige of theirformer selves unfit for anything but a mere garnish.  But it’s ok. They are a means to an end, notthe star attraction.  The idea here iscreating a flavorful stage for the scallops, not outfitting a subordinate ingredientfor human consumption.  Have a moment ofsilence if you must, but do not takethem out of the pan or put the scallops in until after the peppers are soft.

Step Two: Scallop Preparation

The scallops produce quite a bit of liquid while cooking, soyou want to start out with completely thawed, dried off scallops.  Make sure there is no ice left if you boughtthe frozen variety.  Pat them one by one witha paper towel.  This allows you to fry the scallops instead of boiling them, which will happen if youdump them in the pan unthawed or with puddles of liquid surrounding them.  They must be patted dry.

Handling the scallops also provides a sense of regalempowerment known only to those of fortune. You too can experience such a disposition, ephemeral though it may be.  Enjoy it alone with your seafood; ponder uponyour nobility as you prepare to partake in an un-renewable resource that willlikely not be available to future generations due to overfishing and insufficientgovernmental micromanagement.

Step Three: Cook the Scallops

Turn up the heat.  No.Hotter.  We don’t need flames, but if youget a few wisps of smoke that’s ok (lots of smoke is bad).  This is why you used olive oil instead ofbutter.  At this high of heat the butterwill burn.  If that’s your thing, go forit, but you do so against my recommendation, which obviously you care about agreat deal.  Make sure there is enoughoil in the pan so the scallops won’t stick (add additional oil if necessary),and toss them on.  There should be a nicesizzle (it should bring to mind adrenaline pumping through the veins of anOlympian).  An important part of thisstep is not to lose the emotional bond you created with the uncookedscallops.  Things will be different now,sure, but they are the same loving sea critters you tenderly placed in yourCostco cart. 

Step Four:  Season

As you cook them, squeeze a lemon or two over the top and seasonwith dill.  Lots of lemon, lots of dill. Saltand pepper to taste.  The sweet bellpepper and mild scallop flavors combine nicely with the salt and lemon,granting the dish a holistic homogeneity which engulfs the palette of the dinerwith a subtle yet nuanced pleasure having a description which escapes theconfines of the English language (In Romanian it would be akin to “placuta”). 

Step Five: Sauce

Now for the buttery sauce that garnishes the dish, and pullstogether the competing flavors.  It’sactually not as hard as you might think. Turn the heat down.  Drop a stickof butter into the pan with all the other ingredients.  Watch it melt.  If you’re like me you’ll stir it around andpretend you’re accomplishing something useful. Once the butter has melted, the sauce is done.

Step Six: Plate

Put each scallop on the plate.  Move quickly so they don’t get cold betweenpan and table.  If more than one is beingserved on the same plate make sure to angle the subsequent scallop so the edgeis resting on the first scallop.  Thisincreases the surface area exposed to the air and enhances aromatic exhibition.  For a less ostentatious display put thescallops flat on the plate.  Spoon thesecret sauce over the top so it runs over the plate in a meaningful way.  Make sure to pick up little bits of colorfrom the pan, and balance placement of individual pepper pieces in such a waythat the only word to describe your masterpiece is ‘exquisite’.  This is an important aesthetic that willrender you’re guests (or yourself if alone) speechless.

Step Seven: Table

Walk with dignity to the dining area.  It is important to savor these last, preciousmoments with the seafood you’ve come to know so well.  While time is of the essence, don’trush.  Allow those present the luxury ofbeholding your work of genius as you position it on the table.

Scallop Recipe the short version (if you actually plan onmaking it):

Basically you put oliveoil in a pan and sauté red pepperand minced garlic (don’t use thepowdered stuff).  Then you add scallops (dry them off with a papertowel first).  Make sure the pan is hotso you don’t boil them.  Add fresh lemon juice, dill, and salt.  When they are done add a cube (or two) of butter to the pan. When the butter melts, give the pan a stir and serve it up.  They present well, just spoon the sauce fromthe pan over them.